In the late eighties, I was a mid-level manager at a glass company. It was a big company for sure: about ninety million in revenue on the way to almost a billion. I was having fun; winning, selling a lot, and making no friends along the way. Of course I was oblivious to the latter.

I regularly ruffled some fellow workers’ feathers. Always pushing the envelope. Challenging dogma. Pushing slower, non productive people to the side and doing their work and mine. I was the “wunderkind”.  And I knew it.  Wow, was I special.

Then came a call from Minneapolis, our headquarters. The president wanted me, yes me, to fly to Minneapolis to meet with him. Imagine my triumph, my glory, my overwhelming sense of accomplishment.

You see, I do not have a college degree. I was the only employee to ever reach the level of management, at the time, without one. It was the late ‘80’s. America was getting it swagger back and I was getting mine for the first time and it felt GREAT.

So I flew to Minneapolis; I think it cost a fortune. I rarely flew in those days; it was reserved for the elite in my mind.  But I was arriving. I took a cab to HQ, took the elevator to the TOP floor. I was escorted to the Prez’s office. This is cool stuff huh? I walked in and sat down and across from me sat the President. For all my heart knew, he could have been President of the United States of America. Wow.

We sat and exchanged the weather watch chit chat.  Then came the big moment.  Was I getting a huge promotion?  Maybe SVP at 28 years old???? And then he said it.

“Wilke, you’re a jerk, nobody respects you.”

That was an expensive trip for that message. Damn, he could have phoned that nugget in. Now I was thinking I had to fly back to Omaha unemployed. Ick.

What went wrong? I asked. He talked. I paraphrase, for the years take a toll on one’s memory.

He said: “Jeff, I like you. A lot actually. But not too many others do.  (I was crushed.)  I like you because you know how to make money, and lots of it. It seems to motivate you. Presidents like employees like that. But Presidents do not like turmoil, and you create a lot of that on your way to making our shareholders wealthy.  I don’t think you know you alienate others. In fact, I am sure you don’t.”

At this point I blurted out something like, “If you’re going to fire me, you could have done so on the phone and saved everyone time and money.”

He explained that I was not fired yet, but that it might come to that. He went on to enlighten.

Leadership does not come from being the best at throwing the ball, or catching it, or running with it. Leadership starts with blocking and tackling. Leadership is getting others motivated, attempting  the greatest of challenges without being frightened to do so. He convinced me that while I had a track record of success as a money maker, I had no legacy of building others’ resumes. I was breaking a lot of glass.  Others were weary of cleaning it up.  I needed to learn to create champions for worthy goals.  I was going to “attitude adjustment school.”

There is a wonderful business in the Twin Cities called PDI. Personal Decisions International. They assess and fix flawed executives, among other erstwhile services. I was given a scholarship and a message.  Pass or move on.

With two young daughters and a wife counting on me, all of whom I had apparently and gratefully spared the wrath, I was, as they say, MOTIVATED.

PDI sent me through a barrage of tests and role playing scenarios. Along the way I learned that being good was irrelevant if you alienated all your co-workers along the way. Eventually I learned that good, quiet, effective co-workers will get you fired if you remain an obstacle to their success instead of a vehicle thereof.

I learned that while my heart may have been in the right place, my actions needed some attention.

I graduated with a passing grade and a challenge from my instructors. “Always strive to create champions, within and beyond your personal boundaries.”

My PDI training had a number of interesting dynamics to it, many of which I still use to this day. Consider this an invitation to ask me about my experiences at PDI. I always have a story and always love to share it.

In summary: Be kinder than necessary to whomever you’re working with. Everybody has something they are dealing with.

Other posts in the Lessons Learned Series:

 Whose lawn are you mowing?